LAA 2014 Mission Trip: Tuesday

LAA 2014 Mission Trip: Tuesday: I asked the kids what they wanted me to put in the post tonight and as I was flooded with all of their answers I realized that I had opened ...

The Desire to Simplify

My husband and I recently took a trip to Walla Walla, Washington.  This is a small farming community with a large population of seventh day Adventists.  My husband works in the auto sales industry which requires long hours away from home and constant pressure to produce.  He is a fast-paced person who rarely takes time to relax.  

Something interesting happened during that trip to Walla Walla.  The area is very quiet, and the people are very friendly.  Life is simple there.  Something struck a chord in my husband’s spirit.  He realized that although he makes a lot of money working like he does, he is not content.  The simple things are the things that are most important to him.  He spoke of a desire to downsize, reduce living expenses, work less hours in a different industry, and spend more time with me.  

I too had been caught up in the game of chasing the almighty dollar.  I worked ten-hour days as a paralegal and even brought work home just to try to stay afloat with a heavy workload.  I was recently laid off.  And although I was very distraught at the loss of my job, I found the greatest blessing in being home during the day.  After the initial shock of losing my job and the emotional pain that such a loss brings, I found myself experiencing joy as I cleaned my house.  I never had the time to clean it well.  I started cooking again.  I had no stress!  My husband remarked that he loved having me home and being able to come home to a clean house and food cooking on the stove.  I realized that I am happiest when I can be focused on my household.

During the trip to Walla Walla, my husband and I started to dream together.  We dreamed of a simple life.  A life where we could live modestly and without the high level of stress that we were accustomed to.  We dreamed of waking up together in the mornings, taking walks together, drinking coffee together, and just spending time together.  

Of course there is the reality of the bills needing to get paid.  We talked about reducing our living expenses in such a way that we could both work part time and have more time to spend together while we are young and healthy.  We also tossed around the idea of starting a small business together.  We talked about how we are happiest when we are together and keeping up with the Joneses is not what makes us happy.  We live in a time when it is common for both husband and wife to work all the time, forfeiting happiness that can be enjoyed now in order to delay gratification for that “someday”.  Why not simplify in order to make it possible to enjoy the simple things now?

This is actually a great time to start downsizing as both of our children will soon be leaving the nest.  We have a desire to declutter, to get rid of things that we do not need, to fix up the kids’ bedrooms and make them guest rooms.  

I have a desire to simplify my meal planning.  No longer do I want to stress over meals that require  a lot of ingredients that are difficult to find.  I want to cook simply using fresh produce.  I want to go back to the basics.  

I want to do things that truly make me happy.  I love to write, and I put that on the back burner in order to pursue my paralegal career.  Why not do what God has created me to do?

Am I going through a mid-life crisis?  Maybe.  But apparently I am not alone, because there are books and blogs and online communities of people who desire to simplify their lives.  What about you?  Do you ever find yourself wanting to simplify your life? 

The Shadow of His Wings

 “Because you have been my help, therefore in the shadow of your wings will I rejoice.” (AKJV)

  

     “Finally.  The last tray,” I thought as I scrubbed the last bakery tray for the day.  I glanced at the clock with relief that my shift would soon be over.  I found it very difficult to concentrate on my job when thoughts of my mother’s dementia continued to flood my mind.

     “She is getting so forgetful.  She needs me to be home more.  Dad cannot take care of her by himself.  What am I going to do?” I thought.  I prepared to go home, and left the store.  

     As I drove home, I attempted to clear my head by listening to some jazz.  I took a deep breath as the sound of the relaxed tempos filled the car.  As I drove along the two-lane highway, I rolled down my window.  The fresh air felt good on my face.  I thought about making myself a nice sandwich as soon as I got home.  

     As I looked at the oncoming traffic, it looked like the car in the opposing lane was in my lane coming straight at me.  I figured the driver was passing another car and would get back over in the other lane.  But as the car approached, I realized that it was staying in my lane and going even faster than it was before.  My body filled with the shock of panic as I quickly considered what I should do.

     “I can’t pull over on either side or I will go into the ditch!  I’m going 55.  I can’t slam on my brakes because there is a big truck behind me!”

     I gently pressed the brakes in hopes of softening the blow, but in that split second, I was aware that I was about to be in a head-on collision.  I thought I was about to die.

     “Jesus, help me!” was all I could scream as I braced myself and gripped the steering wheel tightly.  Suddenly, the windshield was covered with what looked like a pure white sheet.  I could no longer see out the window, and as I looked closer, I saw the fine lines of where the feathers pressed against the glass.  I knew in my spirit that an angel was embracing the vehicle, and I could see the shape of the wing against the windshield.  I could not see the angel’s face for it was above the windshield.  All I could see was a little part of the angel’s chest and the wings that spanned the whole width of the windshield.    

     When the impact occurred, my car spun around two or three times and about twenty images of my childhood flashed through my mind in color.  Then it was gone and everything was still.

     I looked around and saw the other car and the truck that was behind me.  A man was walking toward me from the truck.  I was still in shock as I tried to process mentally what had just occurred.  I decided to go check on the other person, and I started to get out of my car.  The man that was walking toward me stopped me.  

     “You can’t go over there,” he said, gently leading me back into my car.  I sensed by the look on his face that the other driver was probably dead.

     The ambulance arrived, and the paramedics asked me a series of questions.

     “Where do you feel pain, ma’am?”   

     “The only thing that hurts me is my foot.”

      I was transported to the hospital for some diagnostic testing.  When the MRI results came back, the doctor gave me the news:

     “The bad news is that you will need surgery immediately because your foot was crushed.  But the good news is that you have no internal injuries whatsoever.  You should feel very lucky that you walked away from a head-on collision at such a high speed with nothing more than a foot injury.”

     I know why I survived that accident, and luck had nothing to do with it.  After the initial recovery period, I was unable to return to work.  However, I was able to receive disability compensation.  This gave me the opportunity to be available to care for my parents full time at the end of their lives.  I am very grateful to be alive, and I cherish the time that I was able to spend caring for my parents.  I will never forget what I saw in that split second before the impact.  Every time I think about it, I am reminded of God’s great love for us, and my heart is filled with awe because I know where my help comes from.  

    

Author: Carolyn Pregana

Acknowledgment: I want to thank my daughter-in-law Jaylin Palacio for writing this story for me.